Everyone knows that old, childhood adage "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me", right? Well, it's a lie!!! And do you want to know the most hurtful words?!!? "I don't care" ... 9 lil letters took the WIND out of me like I had been thru 10 rounds in the ring with a world champ!
As I get older (and wiser, hopefully), I am struggling with friendships that are changing and morphing into different things. One that has been particularly upsetting came to a gut wrenching conclusion this weekend with those 3 little words. Someone not caring is worse than someone hating you because hate is an emotion that is felt while not caring is just "whatever." You know that someone is thinking about you, putting energy into you, etc. when they hate you; when they don't care ... that's tricky.
I've been "fighting" with this friend for the past 8 months. I've been going back and forth about wanting to just end it because, it hurts more than it's fun :( Back in April, I heard a quote "You can't fight with someone who want to get in the ring with you" ..... this rings even more true after hearing "I don't care."
It hit me last night, when I heard the words and saw the look on his/her face ... I have been fighting with myself for the past 8 months. S/he hasn't wanted to get in the ring with me. I don't know when this friendship exactly ended but what I do know is that it's probably over now. and for good :(
Me, being the person I am, wants to talk about it, face to face to figure out what could have caused a nearly 8 year friendship to go down the tubes without me even knowing. ESPECIALLY after all that we have been through ....
But me knowing her/him, knows that won't happen and it this will probably be the end. Who knows the rules for dying friendships? What are the rules for mutual friends? There's lots of breakup rules for significant others, but I haven't heard of anything regarding best friends, close friends, etc.
Come back for tomorrow for the other side of this very complicated issue :/
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