So I’ve been struggling with 2 things lately – the loss of a few friendships and my lack current full-time employment opportunities in my chosen field. I’ve had a rough go at it the past few months, not hearing from 2 very VERY important people to me for months at a time. Yep, friendship is a 2-way street but how long can I walk down my side before I run out of street? I can’t do it all on my own.
I get it; I understand that friendships change – who remembers the song from Girl Scouts “Make new friends, keep the old …”?! – I just don’t get things changing so drastically, so quickly, without reason. Going off to college can cause high school friendships to change and end; I was lucky that my bestests from high school still remain some of my bestests today. Graduating and having to “grow up” can cause friendships to change and end; I was still fairly lucky in that most of my closest friends in college have remained so (Facebook also helps a LOT with that!). What I’m struggling with is the lack of change that is effectively ENDING friendships that I have.
I got into it with a friend I have felt slipping away for quite some time this weekend and demanded the truth about the situation. We’ve been going at it for a few weeks now and not getting anywhere (well it’s more like chat on one day then nothing for 2 weeks). We started again on Thursday and continued into Friday where it reached a head. I asked for, what I thought was reasonable, the truth to WHY our friendship was not worth trying to save. Before I got the response, I read my horoscope for the next day (well that day actually – Saturday) and it hit me: we’re not supposed to be friends. I don’t remember exactly what the horoscope said but it was along the lines of “people change, relationships change, don’t try to keep things the same” – I think.
For whatever reason, this person was brought into my life at the right time but was only supposed to be there for a finite period of time. And by me trying to hold on to it/them, I was missing out on lots of things. My realization was reinforced when I received the response in the morning – more of the same from the past few weeks - it’s over; time to move on. I replay the conversation in my head and realize it’s been over for quite some time now. I love this person; I’m pretty sure I will ALWAYS love this person. As much as we’ve been through (and it has been a lot), I don’t think there’s ANYTHING that will make me not love them (and trust me, I’ve tried!).
I’m not entirely sure what role this person played in my life yet but if it is what I think it is, I am eternally grateful. It’s something that I could never repay and I don’t think I would be the person that I am today. No, I KNOW I wouldn’t be the person that I am today!
I love my church – quick subject change I know, but it’s related, I promise! I attend Impact Church in Atlanta and LOVE it. I have been attending since I came down in July and my cousin Debbie DEMANDED that I go to church with her. From that week on, I have felt that Olu, Edwin, and all of the preachers have been speaking to ME. And today was no different.
Today was all about focusing on the bigger picture; God has a plan for each and every one of us. He brings people into your life that you need when you need them. HE decides if they need to stay and HE decides if they need to get to steppin. He has a master plan for me and when I try to hang on to things that don’t belong in my life anymore I’m messing with HIS plan. So, I’m letting go, and letting God.
The bigger picture from today’s sermon was about haters … we all have those people in our life who just HAVE to bring you down. Whether it’s shooting down your dreams, trying to bring you down to their level, whatever – they are there! And, guess what? They aren’t going ANYWHERE! What you (and I) need to do is stop worrying about the haters and focus on God’s plan.
There was a reason I was laid off and haven’t been able to find full time work in my field since then – and it has NOTHING to do with the economy. I have no clue what that reason is but when God’s ready for me to know, I know I will be ready to listen, which brings me to my work situation. There are a few people at work who are just plain haters; there is no rhyme or reason, they just go around on a daily basis HATING, they are pretty much equal opportunity haters. And they make me sick.
But after listening to today’s sermon, I’m over them. They are trying to take my focus away from my job search, doing a good job, and seeing new opportunities, and lately, I’ve been letting them. Not anymore! I am letting go … I know what they are TRYING to do but I have God on my side! And with God, comes a plan - a plan that is bigger than them, bigger than me!
I can’t control what they do or what they believe in, I can only control me. I am going to focus on my goal and I believe in God. That is ALL I need to know. Olu challenged us this week … said it would be one of the hardest things we’d have to do. Let. It. Go. Let it go … sounds easy, right? It’s not but I’m going to try.
It’s gonna be a hard week (they say the first week is the hardest, right?!) but I have to remember 3 things:
• God has a plan for me – a GREAT plan! I don’t know what it is, but He’s got it. I believe in Him so I’m good to go!
• God brought me to it; He will bring me through it.
• God gave it to me once; He’ll give it to me again.
Next installment will include an update of my new decade resolutions (which won’t be very long since I’ve done NOTHING as of yet!) ….
Smooches,
S
PS I think I need a bible study … anyone got any ideas for finding one in the area? I would prefer younger people …
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Great post Stacey! Very inspirational :)
ReplyDeleteGirl, I know how you feel about the friend thing. I've come to that realization myself recently. It's true that some are for a reason a season or a life time. I'm pretty shy and laid back and I kept few people in my circle so it REALLY hurt when I lost one. I wrote something that kind of goes along with what you written that i will share with you later.
ReplyDeleteYour very right about God having a plan for you, its just trusting Him and the unknown that gets difficult. Believe me I know. Definitely keep the faith. He WILL come thru.
Had the hater issue at work too girl. I feel your pain.
Destiny has a good Bible study on Wednesday nights at 7. I would like to visit your church though. There is a pastor back home that I felt like he knew the inner workings of my soul when he preached, lol. I'm definitely missing that at Destiny, even though I like it there for other reasons.
Great post!