When is enough enough?!

At what point do you stop fighting for a friendship?

It's one thing to fall out of touch with someone, it's another to actively END a friendship. Growing up can eventually lead to friendships ending but when I'm actively working at a friendship and it STILL fails?! THAT drives me crazy! I've lost 2 friends over the past few months and it breaks my heart because I honestly thought we would be friends for LIFE. Both of those people were people I could confide in, people that I trusted, and people that knew me better than I knew myself. And now they are gone.

This sounds crazy but I already put in the effort to build these friendships and frankly, I don't want to do it again! Those friendships will never be duplicated, I know, but I feel like a little piece of me is missing. And I want that piece back damnit!!!

And I couldn't have such a problem with it if I was forming great new relationships but this is just adding to the trust issues that I apparently have. I've met a lot of great people in Atlanta and am having trouble really connecting with them because of this other bs. I'm afraid of what it will mean that those friendships are gone. It's great to make new friends and change but I'm afraid of what leaving that self of mine behind.

That's the one side of the coin. The other side can be described by a few quotes "You can't fight with someone who doesn't want to get in the ring with you" and "why fight for someone who wouldn't fight for you" and "the worst feeling isn't being lonely, it's being forgotten by someone you would never forget".

It's so true ... why fight to keep someone in your life when they obviously don't want to be in it. A great friend told me once "who wouldn't want to be friends with you?" and DUH, I know that! What I don't get is why instead of focusing on the people who WANT to be in my life, I focus on the peeps who have proven time and time again that they want out. They don't put in the effort and frankly I can only take so much of "I want to but..." - if you really wanted to, you'd find a way. I know this is true because when I want something to happen, I make it happen!

It's really a blow to my ego and being the LEO that I am, that's hard for me to deal with. I really need to work on that ... anyone have any non-medicated, cheap ways to do that?! :)