Thoughts on Relationships.......

I don't really know how to start this, so I'll just jump in!

I just turned 29 and a lot of people my age are starting to get married and pop out kids... some are even on their 3rd and 4th!!! While I think 3 or 4 kids at my age (any age really) is a bit much (not for me - to each their own though), I'm definitely ready for the marriage part. Okay, definitely not MARRIAGE but definitely a relationship/partnership with someone.

Since moving to Atlanta I haven't really been that impressed with the dating scene. It's far to expensive to go out (cover charge, long lines, costly drinks, blah blah blah) - not to mention, am I really going to meet "The One" at the club, "dropping it low"?!?! lol, probably not! As you may have heard, the ratio to men to women is quite heavily favors men and I have found that that makes it harder for good women to stand out.

Now if I'm going to be COMPLETELY honest, I haven't really put myself out there as much as I could have (or should have, if I want to complain about it) but this isn't the place for my laundry list of excuses! I say it all the time, gotta get out to meet someone because Mr. Right is CLEARLY not in my apartment! Unfortunately, that's the only place I want to be - I'm a homebody!!!

I've met a lot of nice guys/dudes/men/gentlemen here in Atlanta.... I've met some at church, a few at work, and a couple at events that I've worked and through those people. But for one reason or another, it wasn't in the cards. I know where a lot of it comes from - my lack of self-esteem and experience. I'll set my eyes on someone and wait.... and wait.... and wait.... then the opportunity is gone (or what I thought the opportunity was).

A few months, I saw myself morphing into someone I did NOT like; I made some very questionable decisions (that still shame me to this day) and was not the kind of person I would want to be around. I could feel myself changing into someone I didn't like. And then a good friend of mine challenged me to 30 days of positivity. When she first brought it up, I said "no way, not gonna happen, not possible, blah blah blah!" but we agreed and I wanted to try this challenge. Much to my surprise, it's possible to be positive ALL. THE. TIME. This was just a few months after I started Zija, so I was starting to look and feel better and now I was happy!

Then I noticed that I was happy on the outside but still the same sad, lonely person on the inside. What I was saying was the truth and I was trying to live it but it wasn't working. There was a MAJOR disconnect.

.... But I digress, that's another blog for another time (sometime soon, that's for sure).

THIS blog is about relationships...

Everyone has their "LIST"... ya know, that list of traits and characteristics that you look for in a mate.  For probably the first time in my life, I was really taking a look at what I wanted and DIDN'T want in a man. The list ALWAYS starts with a job! And, in living in Atlanta, I think having a car is a very reasonable expectation. And, I would prefer if he had his own place. And this is where things got interesting.... I was becoming attracted to characteristics OVER looks. Looks are important, #truth, but I was seeing men who weren't "usually my type" as sexy, handsome, attractive, etc. Today, the sexiest thing I can find in a man is DRIVE, DETERMINATION, and GOALS.

There are a LOT of people in Atlanta who are doing their own thing; have their own business (side hustle) while working a job to pay the bills. I didn't really notice it at first, and it really took me by surprise when I finally realized the change that was happening! It's so sexy to see someone have a goal, have a dream, have PASSION and then WORK TOWARDS IT! I get chills just thinking about it ;)

Can 29 year olds have crushes? I think so... and the past 3 crushes I have had were all based on these new sexy traits. All 3 of them have jobs, apartments, and cars but they also have a drive and passion for their goal that I have never seen before. I knew them to different degrees but I didn't see that. All I saw was the drive, that passion.... and I think it blinded me. I didn't have a crush... I was drunk on passion! I was infatuated with the success that is bound to come.

I got to know these fine young men by being friends so now comes the tricky part. Here are the 2 schools of thought:

"The best relationships come out of friendships" VS. "Once you're in the 'friend zone' there's no coming back"

Ummmmm.... that is a mess. What do you do!??!? This is my current struggle.....

I've said it before and I'll say it again... this relationship 'ish is for the birds!

PS and people who say, "you'll find love when you're not looking for it, when you're not expecting it" ... I'm not really a fan of that school of thought right now!!! I'm ready to have a partner in life so I'm going to look for it. Does that mean I'll never find it!?!?!

Me... Love me or Leave me!

Some things I've realized over the past few weeks:

- I have great family and friends. That's not new but it needs to be said, often. And hopefully they know how much I love and adore them. Even the ones I don't see nearly often enough (ummm, ALL of them!). They are doing awesome amazing things in their lives that INSPIRE me every day. I want to be better for THEM! to make THEM proud!

- I give too much of myself. I am by NO means self-LESS (see below) but I give of myself far too much. And a lot of the time, to people/situations that don't deserve it. Ugh, that's annoying.

- I'm impatient. I get excited about stuff and want it NOW NOW NOW!!! I don't like waiting for things to happen. "Good things come to those who wait"... def NOT my most favorite saying! I don't like to spread things out... I want it to happen now. Why not now? Why wait? I know there's a time and place for everything; I just want that time and place to be N.O.W.

- I'm selfish. What's mine is mine and you can't have it. I'm not the biggest fan of sharing.... mostly people in my life. Things you can have but people, I don't like sharing. It's always MY mom, MY dad, MY bestie, MY friend, ME MY MINE. Period. The End. But let's be real, I have to share. And I do. But deep down inside, I don't really like it.

- I am NOT a sales person. People loved to tell me when I was job searching that I would be great in sales. I told them "no, thanks for believing in me but you're wrong" but consider it in the back of my mind. Since starting my "business," I've realized that I need to be more aggressive about selling ME.

- The fantasy in my head is better than reality. Most of the time. Some of the time, it's worse and when it's worse, it's 9347y37348620543  times worse because I can't get out of my head. Sometimes I find that I live in a fantasy world - good or bad - but either way, it's not reality. It's like I think I can WISH things into existence.

- I'm really naive about some things and sooooo unexplainably NOT naive about other things. Some may call it irrational, and some would be right.....

- I am easily infatuated by things, people, ideas. This has been SUPER annoying lately. Actually, after reading the definition of infatuation, it's not infatuation because it's not short-lived. I don't know what it is exactly... passionate maybe? Passion is awesome to have but it seems that lately, my passion has not been directed in the right places.

- I don't like to be alone as much as I used to. I love living alone but I miss having roomie nights, sleepovers, late night chats, etc. I still LOVE my alone time but don't want or need it as much. I think I like to be around people more because I enjoy listening to people and learning what they have to say, what they think.... pretty much, what can I learn from them.

- I put on a good show but my self-esteem is pretty low. What I say and what I feel on the inside are 95% of time completely different. I'm not lying to you, per say, I'm just not revealing my whole truth. But I think 99.9% of you would be completely surprised if you knew the whole truth.

- I'm scared. Mostly of rejection (and it is admittedly irrational) ... I've started to put myself out there lately but got burned so that just feeds my fear more!

- I love my life but want so much more and am struggling with how to get it.

- There's more to this life than what I'm experiencing now. There's so much more!

*Things do not change; we change*

Henry David Thoreau

Everyone changes; it's inevitable. Most people can't see the change in themselves because they are with themselves all day, every day (obviously). Many a relationships have been damaged or lost because someone changed - usually one person changes and the other one doesn't like HOW they changed, but usually it's because they don't like the simple fact that their friend/significant other changed at all. What they don't get is that CHANGE IS INEVITABLE! You can't get around it :)

I've changed in recent months, a lot. All (I think) for the better. It snuck up on me - honestly, it did! If you're reading this, there's no doubt you've heard about my success losing weight with Zija and my amazing trainers and that has been a big part of it. JC has opened my mind (in addition to the much needed weight loss) and has me thinking a lot. I've been doing The Positivity Challenge with my good friend Bridgette and it has me thinking and re-evaluating things. I've met some wonderful people that I have been blessed to be able to call my friends that push me to think and re-evaluate the things that I've always just believed, just because.

I wouldn't say I've lost any friendships during my change...... but I've definitely made the conscious decision who gets to spend more time with me and whose phone calls/texts/emails don't get returned! The hardest thing for me is the people I want in my life who aren't accepting of the changes I am making (because, yes, this is a conscious decision). It hurts and makes me sad.

**I wrote the above part of the blog back in May. Below, is my continuation...**

Change is scary though... and I understand why some people shy away from it, shun it. Change is HARD! Have you ever tried changing a toddler's diaper while they're trying to get to their toys? Have you ever had to change a tire? What about changing your socks with wet nails?! If change was easy, everyone would do. But, we get nannies, call AAA, and stay at the nail salon until our nails are COMPLETELY dry.

Changing can also be a LOT of fun!!! I've had a BLAST this last half of year changing into this great person that I am becoming! I am learning soooo much! And trust me, I'm not one for "school" or "book" learning - BORING - but this kind of learning is fun! I'm learning from different sources and, more importantly, learning how to trust my gut.

I truly believe I'm making changes for the better... but why don't you let me know?! :)

My Zija Story

By now, I'm sure you've heard me say SOMETHING about Zija. If you haven't, pay closer attention! :) So, sit down, settle in, and get ready because this is MY Zija story.


I can't tell you the exact day it began but it was a few months ago around 10pm on a Saturday night when one of my trainers (yep, I have 2 awesome trainers but more on that later), JC, called to tell me about this presentation he just went to and how this product was going to change lives. Just so you know, JC is ALL about health and fitness so he was beyond stoked and couldn't wait to tell me alllll about it. I, of course, took it all in and waited to ask questions until I could process it more (and for him to calm down just a bit).


Fast forward a few weeks, and JC is all about Zija. He did an experiment on himself that was an intense meal plan and working out plus Zija but with him being a trainer who was already in shape, I was still a lil unsure of how it would work on me. And let me tell you, it worked. I didn't think it was possible for someone with 8% body fat to get any lower or get even more ripped. But he did it. And kept it off after he went back to eating normal (not fatty, but normal foods)!

Now let me back up just a smidge.... I've been working out for quite some time and I have tried EVERYTHING. I joined LA Fitness as soon as I moved to Atlanta and signed up for 1 personal training session per month (it was all I could afford). I saw a few results but nothing to write home about. After being lazy for quite some time (and gaining weight!), I had racked up enough sessions to do them once per week. And after using all my sessions for like 2 months, I was hooked - I must see a trainer every week! So, last July, JC talked me into 1 session per week (he had been wearing me down). Couldn't really afford it but I was determined to lose weight dammit!


So, July 7th I started with my other trainer, IB (Get Fitted!). And from July 2011 until March 2012, I managed to lose a pound or 2 per month (if that), sometimes even going up. I just couldn't get over the hump - I was listening to IB and JC, eating right (I wasn't perfect but putting in the effort and doing better than the past), pushing myself when I was working out on my own, and NOTHING changed!!! I was so super frustrated and it was getting to IB too!!!

Here is the first 6 months of my evaluations ... you'll see, not too much change :(

And here we have my last 3 months ... went down 4%body fat and 3 pounds from the beginning of March to the beginning of April. When we weighed in for April, I have been on Zija for 5 days!!! And now in May, I'm down 2% and almost 7 pounds.

So, now we're all caught up.... JC tells me about his experiment which seems super cool but super intense and something that I wasn't quite ready for. He kept telling me about the Zija stuff and even gave me a few samples. I could definitely tell the energy difference right away and the tea was the best cleanse I've ever done! He sends me some articles to read, gives me information on the weekly call they have, and sends me to the website. It all looks good ... the stuff isn't too tasty but that's neither here nor there. I check out the website and realize this will an investment (for someone who is underemployed and works in retail), so with Margo's wedding coming up, I had to put it off until after.


Wedding happens (congrats Margo & Jordan), I order the goods (March 25), it arrives (March 30) and April 1st - GAME ON!!! I weigh in with JC, take my before pictures and start the program. Mind you, I'm doing the SAME workouts (via IB) and am eating mostly the same (now I get my food fresh from the Farmer's Market). Fast forward 30 days.... I am down almost 7 pounds and 2% body fat (and those numbers would have been better but I went out to eat the night before weigh in! dang it)!!! I have NEVER lost that much weight/body fat in 1 month EVER. EVER EVERRRRR! I am SOLD!!! I am a BELIEVER!!!


During April, JC starts an ab clinic on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, I continue eating better (with less mess ups), and doing "IB approved workouts".... but more importantly, I feel a LOT better. I have more energy, feel healthier, and have a ton more energy. More energy as in waking up for 6a workouts every day!!!


Last week, JC tells me there's a diet he wants me to try. Lo and behold, it's the experiment he did on himself that I wasn't so sure would work on me. For 5 days, all I am allowed to eat is protein... as in egg whites, chicken, and fish - NO seasonings - plus my Zija, obviously. He recommends getting a waist belt to use during my workouts, I get the waist belt. He says he's going to work me out twice a day, so I do 2-a-days with JC plus my monthly workout with IB (because it was our week to workout and I apparently am okay with dying at 28). And here we are, day 4. I'm not sure if I'm going to make it but I sure as hell am going to try. This is THE hardest thing I have ever done in my life but IT IS WORKING. Eating all protein and Zija has allowed me to lose 8 pounds already. In 4 days.


So, how does this Zija stuff work?! Without getting too technical.... Zija comes from the Moringa Tree and is packed with all the nutrients, vitamins, and minerals that your body needs. And when your body gets what it needs, it's able to function better (hence, more energy). Coupled with eating clean and my workouts, the Zija is helping to increase my metabolism and allows me to burn the body fat I already have.


There's not much more to say... this stuff is LEGIT (as in TOO LEGIT TO QUIT). If you want to be healthier, Zija. If you want to lose weight, Zija. If you want results, Zija and IB/JC. Just kidding, you can do it without those 2 but they make it a lot more fun! :)))


I can't wait to show y'all my before and after pictures!!! I still have a lil ways to go but dang, I am well on my way!

That's it. That's MY Zija story. You don't have to take my word for it... read all about Zija and the Moringa Tree here: www.scross3.myzija.com and then call me with questions.

Be blessed,

Stacy

Things to Do in Atlanta

This idea came to me the NIGHT before social media began. Literally! I went to bed Saturday evening and said to myself, "I can't wait to write this up tomorrow" and when I got to church the next morning, Mama Seed told me what was on the prayer card and what we were fasting from - Social Media - I said to myself, "Are you for real?!!? I have to wait a WHOLE week to write this blog?!!?"

Anyway, here we are, a week later and I lived :) Then, an amazing thing happened on Saturday - I rode MARTA for the first time! It was sooo super exciting too! I went to FSO with Bridgette and Atiya and to avoid traffic and paying stupid money for parking, we decided to take MARTA. We met at Atiya's place and rode the train down. I lived in LI for a summer and my Aunt and cousins have lived in LI for all my life, in addition to many trips to visit Yudes in NYC so I've rode the subway before but this was different. And it was a lot of fun! It's nothing like the NYC Subway system (thank Lord) but something I could get used to!

So, this leads me to my LIST .. I've been in the A for 2 years - hard to believe right?!?! - and haven't done anything really Atlanta-ish. I want people to come visit me but other than seeing me, what are we going to do!? What are we going to see?! I know all the stuff EVERYONE knows - The World of Coke, Aquarium (went with Skylar - awesome!!!), GA Dome, etc. - but I want to know all the stuff that only people who KNOW Atlanta know. And I'm starting to know some stuff but because of my stuff job in retail (ughhhhhhh) I can't ever plan to do anything fun! :(

Here's my challenge to YOU, all of my fellow readers: send me all the Atlanta things I just HAVE to do. I won't put any limitations on it except to say I don't like animals so the zoo probably isn't going to make the list of places I'm going to try and I don't like rollercoasters so Six Flags is probably out as well, unless you know of some visitors pass (I enjoy going to hang out with people - I'm an excellent purse/bag holder and picture taker!). Not saying I'm going to do EVERYTHING, but I'm definitely going to give everything some good thought - this is a year of trying new things, WHY NOT?!!? Oh, and if you know of any good food places, send them my way - you know I love me some food!

Last thing - feel free to email, facebook, twitter, text, whatever you need to do to get your suggestion to me if you don't have an account to post your comment on here :) Thanks in advance!

Smooches,
S

Fasting from Social Media

I took a week off of Facebook and Twitter last week as part of Impact's 40 Days of Prayer. I'm a little bit upset with myself that this was the first one that I truly committed myself to but I think I learned a lot from this one week. And I definitely grew a lot from this experience. It wasn't as hard as I originally thought it would be. When I'm out and about and bored, fb and twitter keep me occupied and that's where I thought it would be hardest, so I deleted the apps from my phone immediately - no need to be tempted, right?! I had plenty of work to do at home so that wasn't a problem either. After the first few days, it wasn't that bad. It got bad towards the end of the week .. especially when I needed to get in touch with a friend who's phone was stolen and fb was the only way I could get in touch with her. I'm kinda over fb for now, we'll see how that progresses. I was never really obsessed with Twitter (there were definitely times I was OBSESSED with fb!!), I like reading people tweets and RT-ing things but I don't tweet that much. Either way, it was a great experience and I'm glad I did it :)

30 Things A Woman Should Do Before 30...

I realize the point of a blog is to write your own stuff but this list was just tooooo good not to post. So, here is the disclaimer - I did NOT write this!!! But, I did make notes next to them so you can see the progress I am making! :)

1. Have a passport - Thanks to my parents I've had a passport since I was quite young!
2. Have at least 1 international stamp on your CURRENT passport. (Excluding the Caribbean, Canada and Mexico) - I have all of those plus France, thanks to marching band in high school. And I plan on getting a lot more!
3. Have a checking AND savings account- both in good standing. - I have both accounts and neither of them are ever in the negative .. that means they are in good standing, right?! ;)
4. Have a playbook (or strategic plan) for your life. 1/5/10 year growth plan to include finances, family, faith, dreams. - Definitely a work in progress. I have some plans!
5. Have a “Happy Place” list- all things/places which enhance your life.
6. Attend a VIP event as a guest.
7. Donate TIME to help a charity.
8. Have a MENTOR for “work” stuff.
9. Have a MENTOR for “life” stuff.
10. Have at least ONE mentee. (Each one reach one).
11. Have a therapist on speed dial.
12. Have a Fab-Five: 5 good friends who don’t let you slide with bs, and who keep you in check AND have your best interest at heart. - Figuring this out more and more, day by day.
13. Be able to look in the mirror and be “OK” with who looks back. - I can honestly say YES!!! This just happened within the last year but it happened!!! :)
14. Have an HIV test. POW!
15. Have an ANNUAL pap smear. - Done and DONE. Since I was 14. Thanks Mama Ross!
16. Have an oral exam.
17. Read the entire Bible (I suggest a focus on proverbs’ life lessons because they have a different meaning during this “next” phase of life). - Since joining !mpact, this has become more important to me and WILL be done before I turn 30.
18. Buy “The Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers.
19. Forgive yourself for “it” (whatever “it” is). Lighten up on yourself. Life is short… Have fun. - Starting to get better at this. Some things are easier than others but I'm not holding on to EVERYTHING like I used to...
20. Do something extreme (sky diving, zip lining, surfing, etc). - I went on the motorcycle ride, I'm planning on getting a tattoo soon, going ziplining - it's like I'm a whole new person! lol ;)
21. Review your schedule and make sure you have “me-time” EVERY week.
22. Make a vision board. - Just got the board and can't WAIT to finally do it!
23. Send a note to a friend (handwritten, not #Twitter ). - yep! And it makes their day, which then makes my day!
24. BUY some high quality stationary.
25. Treat yourself to a 5-star meal.
26. Go to a Broadway or Off-Broadway musical/play.
27. Spend the night at a 4-5 star hotel. - Thanks to my sister, Adrie, sure have!!!
28. Take a Spa Trip to Sedona (or anywhere in AZ actually).
29. Have a meeting/meal with a politician. - In high school, sure did!
30. Hug yourself, and MEAN it. - Literally? Yep, who doesn't love a good hug?!

What are some of the other things you think women should do by 30?

So, that's 11 with 4 in progress .. so I'm only half way thru with less than 2 years to go. Um, I need to get my bootie in gear!!! Ready .. Set .. GOOOOOO!

Love and smooches,

S

27 going on 28

As I close the book on 27 and look to 28, I decided to take a look back on everything that has happened and make a few goals for what I'd like to happen during my 28th year of life!

So, let's recap 27:
- Spent a full year in Atlanta (wahoo!) and loved it! I've got a close group of friends, a church that I love, and it's starting to feel like home :)
- I've started my own business! After taking part in 3 weddings and taking into account my love of my professional calling, it only seemed natural. It's in the very beginning stages but more of this will come in the goals section below :)
- I've continued to watch my niece grow into a smart, healthy little person. She is truly the most important person in my life and I would do ANYTHING for her!
- Ended friendships with people who, I promise you, I thought I would be friends with my entire life. Some were intentional, some were life related but truth to the matter is, everyone can't come along for the ride.
- Developed deeper friendships with people who WANT to come along for the ride!!!
- I realized that life is fragile .. within the span of 2 months, my dad had quadruple bypass surgery and my cousin's husband passed away from cancer. Tomorrow isn't promised, yet people act like it is (myself included sometimes).
- Became a praying person. I joined a connection group at my church (Teach Me to Pray) and along with meeting some of the best people ever, I became closer to God and learned a lot about myself and how to grow my relationship with God.
- Going along with life being fragile, I started working out and trying to become a healthier person. I am by no means a health nut - I love me some McDs, carbs, and chocolate! - but everything in moderation and I try to go to the gym 5 days a week. I get a high from going to the gym now .. it's awesome!! And the confidence that I now have is awesome too!

Here's what's to come in Stacy's 28th Year on Earth:
- Become closer to God. I became an Impactor at Impact this past weekend and I don't want it to become just a title that I got some weekend in July. I want it to mean something. And for it to mean something I need to stay active at Impact and continue to grow my relationship with God. The first thing I am going to do is get me a Bible and then I am going to really read it and UNDERSTAND it!
- Continue to weed out the people who are NOT on my side and ready to win with me. I don't have time for people who are not ready to go straight to the top with me because that is exactly where I am going!
- Grow my business! I have a logo. By Friday, I will have business cards. Hopefully by September, I will have a working website. Hopefully by November, I will have clients lined up and events planned. I am done putting my God-given talents to waste!!!
- Conquering fears!!! I only have 2 on the list so far but give me time and plenty more will be added!!! I am going to ride a motorcycle (thanks Joshua!) and get a tattoo (thanks Marques!). I also plan on continuing to living in today .. life is too short. I'm still sooo scared of rejection but I'm getting better with that!
- Continue working out and being healthy! That's self-explanatory. But, when I go off track not to go sooooooooo off track that it takes forever to get back on track!
- Experience Atlanta .. I've been here for 2 years and still haven't really experienced it! When airline tickets go down and people come visit, I want to be able to know about Atlanta and take people to all the fun places. Soooo, all you Atlantiens, let me know where I need to go and what I need to do to know all about Atlanta! I would also like to not use my Garmin as much, but let's be real, that's not going to happen!
- Take more time for me :)
- Volunteer more and give back
- Save for my house but still enjoy life!!!

What do you think? I'm sure more will come to .. shoot, if they don't then I should add THINKING to my list, right?!!? :)

Smooches,
S

Extreme Couponing

I've made all these comments before but this is how I feel about this show...

- These people have no lives. I don't care what ANY of them say. There is NO way they can clip, search and print that many coupons and still have any type of life. And by life I mean job, family, social, hobbies, ANYTHING.
- Sure, they save money on groceries but how much money do they spend on printer paper and ink cartridges? And newspapers - one woman said she spent over $2000 a year on newspapers! That is RIDICULOUS! Just for some coupons!
- And let's talk about WHAT they are buying: I've seen 1 person on all of the shows purchase something (singular) from the produce department and 1 person purchase something from the meat department. EVERYTHING else is processed or frozen. Now I love a frozen dinner and boxed taters as much as the next person, especially after working a long day, and I wouldn't expect a parent of 4 or 5 kids to cook a fresh meal every day but COME ON!
- Stockpiles ... their stockpiles are CRAZY! One lady said she needed to find another use for toothpaste. I'll tell you another use - donate it! orrrrr, leave it on the shelf. Just because you have a coupon doesn't mean you should buy it. I don't care if it's free. Give it to someone less fortunate. A lot of the stuff that these people are purchasing have expiration dates (very far out expiration dates thanks to preservatives - yeck) yet they still purchase it even though their family could never eat it before it expires. WASTEFUL!
- Which brings me to a bright spot of this show: donations. I believe there were 2 people who made donations to their church and the Army and 1 woman who purchased for her grandmother who lived on a fixed income (but she was a biotch to her husband). That's a nice way to use your craft. Unlike the twins who purchased diapers just because they had coupons and they were on sale yet they don't have kids. (Side note: I'm all about getting things you don't need because they are free but why wouldn't you donate them? Do you know how many babies DON'T have diapers?!?!)
- When stockpiles take over ... it's time to stop. There was one family whose stockpile was taking over their house and was in every room, including their kids' bedrooms and under their beds. Are you kidding me?! It's gotten out of control at that point. One woman had to keep packing up her stuff and sending it to her ex-husband's house (yes, EX-husband) to make room for her stockpile. I mean really ... you'd rather be without your belongs just so you can have 96 bottles of laundry detergent that you got for free?!

Okay I'm done ... but let's be real. TLC knows what's up because they got people talking about their show and better yet WATCHING it. As much as it annoys the crap out of me, I continue to tune in every week to see the "BIGGEST HAUL YET" .. and every week I am even more annoyed and wanna punch someone!

I love coupons. I love saving money. I have OCD and def am type A personality. I hoard things (but hoarding is unhealthy - don't do it!). But I couldn't be an extreme couponer. And I WANT to!

Smooches,
S

Counting My Blessings

I was given a homework assignment this week in church (I think it was the first time, I actually welcomed homework!) to count my blessings, praise God, and then consider my generosity level towards God.
So, here's a stab at COUNT MY BLESSINGS:

• My family, who continue to support me through this crazy phase in my life
• I keep waking up ... God continues to waking me up on a daily basis. Nothing is guaranteed but I continue to wake up to see the sun shine!
  
• I have a job. It's not one that I want but with the economy the way it is, I'm thankful.
• I have a roof over my head, food to eat, and clothes on my back (nothing really updated since I'm on a very strict budget but still clothes!)
• My friends ... I have the craziest, funniest, bestest, most caring, most loving, fun to be around friends on the face of this planet. God allows us to get together when we can (it's not enough but I take what I can get) and God has brought me some beautiful friends down in Atlanta.
• My church ... I spent the better part of my life trying to avoid doing homework, yet here I am DOING HOMEWORK, what more is there to say? I go to church every single week and feel like the message is being spoken to ME, I feel like God is speaking to ME. Now THAT'S something special!
• I'm doing what I love and making contacts ... almost every week at church and very often with a PR/Events company. That just means positive things are coming for me...

That's a pretty good list of things to be thankful for. Now, I'm going to praise God because He continues to bless me, because He continues to believe in ME, and because He thinks I'm awesome. And if God thinks I'm awesome, who am I to not believe Him?!?!?!?

Smooches,
S

I was BORN to do this!

Sports are a big part of my life ... if you know ANYTHING about me, you certainly know this! A phrase that is thrown around a lot is "I was born to do this" and at the professional level, it is evident. As much as I hate him, Brett Favre was born to play football; that is his calling and he is GREAT at it (he could use some help in the respecting of the game but that's a different topic for a different blog). Even at the college level, some of my bestest friends believed they were born to play the game of basketball.

I never had that calling. My calling is in event planning, management, and execution. I was born to do it. Just like Rocko needed to shoot hoops every single day, I need to be planning SOMETHING on a daily basis. It's not just something I enjoy doing (but I DO enjoy doing it) ... I have to do it. I am a much happier person when I am doing it. I'm happy on Sundays not just because I'm spending time with my church and God but also because I'm usually producing service. Some of the few times I'm happy at the BRU is when I'm playing with the babies AND when I'm getting ready for their "events". Yes, I use " " because THEY call them events but they are a joke. BUT, I still get to "plan" them and I still get to enjoy planning them :)

I like being busy ... people doing events are busy. I like making lists and crossing things off my list. Event planners are outspoken and do what they have to do to get what their client needs (if that doesn't describe me to a T, I'm not sure what does!!!).

Some people were born to play football. Some people were born to be moms. Some people were born to teach (and thank God for them!). Some people were born to fix electronics (and really, THANK GOD for them!!!). I was born to plan, manage, and execute events. Watch out world!!!

Smooches,
S

I got your back...

We were high
We were low
But I promise I will never let you go
Said I got I got I got I got your back boy
I got I got I got I got your back boy
(I know you got my back right)
Keep my swagger
Keep it looking good for ya
Keep it looking hood for ya
Shawty if you don't know
I got I got I got I got your back boy
I got I got I got I got your back boy

I love quotes ... I'm a quotes junkie. I hear a good quote and I whip out my phone to type it out so I don't forget it and can use it later. I'm all about the face value of the quote and then the deeeeeeeeper meaning of it. While TI and I are in a rather large fight about his actions lately (idiot!), I have a great love for this song and what the basis of the lyrics are all about. Yep, it's based on a relationship between a man and woman but the chorus can be read about any kind of relationship/friendship anything...

And anyone who knows me, who has gone thru ANYTHING of worth with me, knows that this is true. I will go to bat for you .... what more do you want? Is that enough? When will I find that person to go to bat for ME?

We are FAMILY!!!!

So I sometimes take for granted that I have a great family ... well maybe not take for granted but forget that everyone doesn't have as great of a family as I do. I have a mom and dad who support me no matter what and love me unconditionally. I have 3 great sisters who laugh with me, drive me crazy, and provide me with so much strength and energy it's amazing. I have a niece who thinks the world of me and bring a smile to my face just thinking about her. Grandparents who have always provided for me and given me great memories, plus aunts, uncles, and cousins who are more like moms, dads, and sisters & brothers!

Most of my fondest (what a weird word, right?) memories from childhood center around my family ... which is so weird because all I remember from being a kid is wanting to hang out with my friends. But the best times I can remember are Memorial Day parties, summers in San Diego with my grandparents, sister, and cousin (at Sea World, because I OBV wanted to be a marine biologist!), family reunions, and Christmas time.

Now, I live and die for the family time! I love living in Atlanta but HATE HATE HATE being so far away from my family. I got spoiled living in Connecticut ... I got to experience a lot of firsts with my niece, babysit my cousins on weekends, have impromptu cousin weekends on a moments notice, and attend birthday parties for my nieces and cousins. Now, everything revolves around phone calls, mailings, and planning, planning, planning, and more planning. Oh yea, and more money :(

With all that being said, I make family time a priority and savor the moments I get to spend with them. When it comes down to choosing between a weekend in town hanging with friends or a quick trip to CT to see the fam, guess where I'll be (money willing, of course). My babies will only be babies once and I want to experience as much of their childhood as I can.

I also want to spend time with my parents, aunts and uncles, grandparents so that I can, not only learn about my ancestors, but also make great memories that I can someday tell my child and grandchildren (God-willing, of course). I want to make memories with my cousins so we can continue to develop our relationships so that they can last for generations like our parents and grandparent's have.

Family is important ... it took me awhile to get to that realization but now that I'm here, I'm not letting go of it. I'm living in a naive little world where everyone has perfect little families - I know I'm lucky to have such a great family and I thank God for it every day. But whatever family you have - traditional, unconventional, made-up, etc. - cherish them, nourish them, and most of all, love them. Because, for better or worse, they are yours :)

Smooches,
S

... Break my heart

There's another side to this story but I'm done thinking about this and worrying about this. I have a lot of beautiful people who WANT to be a part of my life and am done worrying about the people who don't. Some people say I have a big heart... Some people say I can be a huge bitch... Others say I'm loud and talkative...

Whatever you think of me, I'm ME. Take it or leave it ... I. AM. ME.

Who are you?

Sticks and Stones...

Everyone knows that old, childhood adage "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me", right? Well, it's a lie!!! And do you want to know the most hurtful words?!!? "I don't care" ... 9 lil letters took the WIND out of me like I had been thru 10 rounds in the ring with a world champ!

As I get older (and wiser, hopefully), I am struggling with friendships that are changing and morphing into different things. One that has been particularly upsetting came to a gut wrenching conclusion this weekend with those 3 little words. Someone not caring is worse than someone hating you because hate is an emotion that is felt while not caring is just "whatever." You know that someone is thinking about you, putting energy into you, etc. when they hate you; when they don't care ... that's tricky.

I've been "fighting" with this friend for the past 8 months. I've been going back and forth about wanting to just end it because, it hurts more than it's fun :( Back in April, I heard a quote "You can't fight with someone who want to get in the ring with you" ..... this rings even more true after hearing "I don't care."

It hit me last night, when I heard the words and saw the look on his/her face ... I have been fighting with myself for the past 8 months. S/he hasn't wanted to get in the ring with me. I don't know when this friendship exactly ended but what I do know is that it's probably over now. and for good :(

Me, being the person I am, wants to talk about it, face to face to figure out what could have caused a nearly 8 year friendship to go down the tubes without me even knowing. ESPECIALLY after all that we have been through ....

But me knowing her/him, knows that won't happen and it this will probably be the end. Who knows the rules for dying friendships? What are the rules for mutual friends? There's lots of breakup rules for significant others, but I haven't heard of anything regarding best friends, close friends, etc.

Come back for tomorrow for the other side of this very complicated issue :/

The Value of a Good Hug......

I LOVE hugs!!! I seriously, more than a little, LOVE hugs! During my short time (relative, of course) in Atlanta, I have experienced a lot less hugs and I am NOT a fan of it. AT ALL! Obviously the decrease in close friends and family lead to this, but c'mon people ... let's hug it out!!!

I am starting to notice a disturbing trend here in Atlanta but what people don't seem to understand is that a GOOD hug can fix almost ANY situation! I'm serious, almost ANY situation. A great hug can start someone's day off right, can change someone's day, or just make someone smile.

I have lots of favorite hugs ... the Taylor hug is the best, especially when she gets a running start! Any hug from my mommy or daddy is great and can make most situations better. I have the greatest friends and they give great hugs. But, topping the list of my favorite hugs is the hug from someone who is 6'6" (or taller) and (somewhat) muscular. I haven't had one in quite some time but from memory, they make me feel safe, loved, and warm.

Smooches,
Stacy

When is enough enough?!

At what point do you stop fighting for a friendship?

It's one thing to fall out of touch with someone, it's another to actively END a friendship. Growing up can eventually lead to friendships ending but when I'm actively working at a friendship and it STILL fails?! THAT drives me crazy! I've lost 2 friends over the past few months and it breaks my heart because I honestly thought we would be friends for LIFE. Both of those people were people I could confide in, people that I trusted, and people that knew me better than I knew myself. And now they are gone.

This sounds crazy but I already put in the effort to build these friendships and frankly, I don't want to do it again! Those friendships will never be duplicated, I know, but I feel like a little piece of me is missing. And I want that piece back damnit!!!

And I couldn't have such a problem with it if I was forming great new relationships but this is just adding to the trust issues that I apparently have. I've met a lot of great people in Atlanta and am having trouble really connecting with them because of this other bs. I'm afraid of what it will mean that those friendships are gone. It's great to make new friends and change but I'm afraid of what leaving that self of mine behind.

That's the one side of the coin. The other side can be described by a few quotes "You can't fight with someone who doesn't want to get in the ring with you" and "why fight for someone who wouldn't fight for you" and "the worst feeling isn't being lonely, it's being forgotten by someone you would never forget".

It's so true ... why fight to keep someone in your life when they obviously don't want to be in it. A great friend told me once "who wouldn't want to be friends with you?" and DUH, I know that! What I don't get is why instead of focusing on the people who WANT to be in my life, I focus on the peeps who have proven time and time again that they want out. They don't put in the effort and frankly I can only take so much of "I want to but..." - if you really wanted to, you'd find a way. I know this is true because when I want something to happen, I make it happen!

It's really a blow to my ego and being the LEO that I am, that's hard for me to deal with. I really need to work on that ... anyone have any non-medicated, cheap ways to do that?! :)

Marriage and Babies ...

I joined the Facebook group "Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant, I'm just getting drunk!" because it's mostly true. Everyone I know IS getting married or preggers (or both!) but I'm not just getting drunk! :)

I go back and forth on how I feel about this situation. I don't have a significant other so I'm obviously not getting married or preggers but the real question is, do I want to?!? I KNOW I am not ready for a baby, although I love to borrow them from time to time :) but I think I'm ready for the committed relationship, even if it's not marriage. I love the single life but I'm not so much for the dating scene. It absolutely, positively SUCKS!!! They don't teach you in college how to meet people after you spend 24 years of your life being told how to socialize! And I'm a very competitive person and the dating scene is just a huge competition. So far, 26 (almost 27) years in, I am losing. And I freaking HATE IT!! I'm over the dating scene, but am a fan of the relationship scene. How do I bridge the gap?!

....... no that's really a question I'm going to need you to answer. Hit me up in my comments :)

My Personal Ad

So I was chatting with a good friend today and it got me thinking ... I am a GREAT gal. And then I wondered what my personal ad would look like. Here ya go!!

Single, African American female, 27 years old, seeks boo (also known as beau).

I like my turkey with a side of the Cowboys losing and the Lions trying to play football. The most important holiday in February is the Super Bowl. My favorite color is blue but I bleed green from August to February and blue from April to November! I enjoy cooking, music, movies, and working out. I like to go out but prefer a sports bar to a dance party but trust me, I will bust a move if the right song comes on!

I have a job and pay my own bills. I belong to a book club, have a great group of friends, like to travel, and have my own hobbies so you should as well. I like to cuddle and enjoy some clearance action every so often, just like the next girl ;)

Looking for an employed, self-sufficient man to spend time and have fun with. If you're interested in being joined at the hip, please don't apply (no offense). Liking sports is not a must but who doesn't love sports?!?! And if you're not an Eagles, Yankees, or Syracuse fan - please be prepared for numerous heated debates! You don't have to like my cooking, but you will!!!

Minor Breakdown ... Major Meltdown

I had a minor, itty, bitty meltdown last week that escalated into a MAJOR meltdown :(

I was coming home from the gym and had a thought: "what if this is it? what if THIS is my life?! Babies R Us, gym, then home alone ... that's so depressing!" And that's when I lost it ... just could NOT stop crying and freaking out that this was what my life was going to boil down to. I honestly hadn't been that sad and depressed in years ... it scared me how easy it was for me to fall back into that depressive state.

I went to work the next day and it just ate at me. It REALLY got bad when I realized that most of the clowns I work with make more money than me and do FAR less. Then I hit rock bottom when I realized that I can't even pay my bills without help from my parents. Yes, I am so thankful to have them to lean on but at the age of almost 27, with 2 degrees and a plethora of experience and a SPARKLING personality, I was hoping to have a stable job (that I kinda sorta liked), along with a fantastic social life, my own house (or saved up just about enough for a down payment) and a super sweet boyfriend (but that one is definitely one that could wait!). So, for the next couple of days I was in what felt like a meltdown. I felt like everything that I had worked so hard for was slipping through my fingers. And fast.

It's hard ... it's a daily struggle. It's hard to keep my head up and think "this is only temporary." But, what pulled me up and keeps me going is my family. And my friends ... old and new, near and far. And God ... God actually comes first. He's super awesome and loves ME!!! My family is my great support system and my TRUE friends are there when I need them.

I got off track - I was on an entirely different highway!!! But I'm back on track and just need a little bit of focus in my life. That focus comes from:
- applying for 2 jobs EVERY day (Mon-Sat)
- exercising 4x a week
- making time for friends and social activities
- NOT over working myself about things I can't control (ie BRU)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEEE hold me responsible. I need my support system to do just a little bit more to help me get to the next stage. I love my family and friends and am just waiting to love my job ... so I can buy a house I love and find a man to love :)

Smooches,
S